What You Can and Cannot Control
I want to share a little bit about the topic of stimulus and response so you have a better understanding of what you can and cannot control.
This is a topic that I discuss with both my customers and coaches because it is pretty profound. Being aware of this concept has enabled me to re-evaluate my response to different things throughout my day and how I deal and/or respond to different situations in my life.
Here’s a good example of the process I go through:
I recently went on a heli skiing trip. The one thing I fear is boarding the helicopter on the very first morning. Now, instead of being distracted by fear, I can look at this situation and analyze what bothers me about it. What it comes down to is my fear of something going wrong and we crash. I label this a “Reasonable Fear.” There is nothing wrong with that. This type of fear was actually designed to protect us.
There is another type of fear that I deal with that I consider an “Unreasonable Fear.” It might surprise you that I have social anxiety. On my ski trips, it rears its ugly head at dinner when I will be surrounded by about 50 people.
Being conscious of these two types of fear helps me control my response to each stimulus and not draw back as a result of my unreasonable fears. When it comes to the reasonable fears, I choose to move forward or pull back on a case-by-case basis. (Obviously, I push myself through the helicopter one to get to that powder!)
I am currently reading an AMAZING book called The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. I highly recommend it if this topic resonates with you in the least.
Here is an insightful quote from the book:
“Resistance is experienced as fear. The degree of fear equates to the strength of resistance, therefore the more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and the growth of our soul, that’s why we feel so much resistance. If it meant nothing to us, there would be no resistance.”
In other words, we have to push through our fear barriers to allow ourselves to grow.
This can be applied in every area of your life—be it in personal or business relationships or how you react to food and exercise. Don’t let unreasonable fear to hold you back—push through and see real growth happen!
Want to talk more about what you can and cannot control? Click below and let’s connect: